Today was one of those days when you just wake up sad. July 11, 1999, was a tragic day for our entire family when we lost Dr. Ejaz Haider: a son, father, husband, brother, friend and mentor.
Ejaz Bhai was a lot of things to a lot of people. He was brilliant in his professional life, compassionate in all his human interactions and a role-model for a lot of us. What do you call a person like him: Perfect. A likeable perfect.
I was still a gawky teenager when we lost him but the lessons I learnt from him still shape my behaviour. He was an amazing listener, with insightful guiding questions. He taught me the importance of role-models for younger people in the family. Whenever I take time to talk to the younger lot, ask them how they are doing, what they are reading, what recently inspired them, how they view the world —it's only because I know Ejaz bhai would have done it if he was in the same room.
Our lives would all have been very different if he was still alive. Last year when we were talking about him on the same date (on email of course, everyone being so globally spread now) my father said that we should all continue to talk about Ejaz, so that he stays alive and we can pass on his personality to all the younger kids in the family who now only see his pictures on the wall. I agree. Maybe I should dig out baba's email and post it here.
So what was your favourite memory of Ejaz Bhai?
Ejaz Bhai was a lot of things to a lot of people. He was brilliant in his professional life, compassionate in all his human interactions and a role-model for a lot of us. What do you call a person like him: Perfect. A likeable perfect.
I was still a gawky teenager when we lost him but the lessons I learnt from him still shape my behaviour. He was an amazing listener, with insightful guiding questions. He taught me the importance of role-models for younger people in the family. Whenever I take time to talk to the younger lot, ask them how they are doing, what they are reading, what recently inspired them, how they view the world —it's only because I know Ejaz bhai would have done it if he was in the same room.
Our lives would all have been very different if he was still alive. Last year when we were talking about him on the same date (on email of course, everyone being so globally spread now) my father said that we should all continue to talk about Ejaz, so that he stays alive and we can pass on his personality to all the younger kids in the family who now only see his pictures on the wall. I agree. Maybe I should dig out baba's email and post it here.
So what was your favourite memory of Ejaz Bhai?
One of the reasons why I immediately took a liking to Ejaz bhai was his exceptional interpersonal skills and the beautiful way he would treat people around him. I remember him always making that phone call on the day after we would meet, making sure he shares with you a personal memory from the meeting. I loved his frank disposition, and his attentive listening skills.
ReplyDeleteI specially loved the way he would hold Mehu baji's hand as he stood by her! and I keep teasing Hussain that the reason I agreed to marrying him was my assumption that if the eldest brother is so caring towards his wife, the youngest, who I never met, would make a good husband too! ;)
I remember with very fond memories his email to me, a print out of which I still have, welcoming me to the family. And the various phone calls on the day of our Nikah and telling me how happy he was that I am now part of the family. He was the one person who gave me the best welcome, and I will forever remain indebted to him for the warm memories. I wish I could have spent more time with him and I wish he lived long enough to be part of our lives.
The best tribute to him is to keep him alive in our memories! Thank you once again for this beautiful post Ania. Its beautiful - just like Ejaz bhai's memories.
Adding a comment from Baba:
ReplyDeleteDear All,
Ejaz was ( although this is painful to call him 'WAS" ) a symbol and we
all must try to understand the goodness behind it. In our life we can only
earn respect by two things. One is hard work for a cause and second is
sacrifice without any worldly gains. I my life I have been exposed to
almost peaks of possible human achievements and worldly respects but now
while relaxing in my TV lounge having my eyes on Margalla Hills I feel
that I respect myself only on account of those actions and moments which
have become the cause of pleasure and relief for others specially those
were in genuine need of this support.
This life is very small to understand the topic I am trying to discuss,
whenever I visit the traces of History I always think that these powerful
people at that time would have never thought of this time otherwise they
would have done some thing for the benifit of mankind.
Do today some thing beyond your personal needs and wishes. That is how we
can pay tribute to Ejaz and let the values continue as these were when
Ejaz was leading and making people happy around him.
With my Dauaa & Regards,
Ammar
Adding a comment from Ammie:
ReplyDeleteMano and Taita...Your emotions are really very heart touching...Ejaz was Ejaz...He will always remain alive in our memories...May God give him a very high place in Jannat(ameen)
Adding a comment from Rubab Baji:
ReplyDeleteEjaz Bhai was like an elder brother to me. I remember how we were like one big family (ours, Batool and Choomi phuppos')
We all used to have picnics, outings, movies on rented VCR ...
One special thing which i liked about Bhai was that he was very caring and always ready to help. He was a favourite of all age-groups. He was a real family man.
Bhai we miss you but you will always be remembered and stay alive in our memories.
From: Hussain Haider
ReplyDeleteMano, thank you for this beautiful post. Ejaz bhai was truly an institution and great inspiration for all of us.
I believe Ejaz bhai in his short life of 35 years, performed best in all roles of life. He was a mentor and a super hero for us – having an immediate solution for our problems, an obedient son, most loving husband, judicious professional and yarro ka yarr (caring friend).
Ejaz bhai always lived for others and undoubtedly touches many hearts and souls. For me, his best quality was whosoever met him was mesmerized forever. During the launching of Bazm e Ejaz, Sarmad Sehbai said, Ejaz was a man worth million men.
We love you Ejaz bhai.
I can perhaps say with confidence that he was a fine human being an absolute gem of a person, my best friend. Folks some of you might feel otherwise but we were more alike than anyone of you would ever know. Often we felt, saw and thought the same things at the same time and we knew that without saying a word. I was talking to our mutual best friend in Australia when I remarked; Ejaz Haider is gone, how much of life is there for me. A spear went through my heart and left there in.
ReplyDeleteTanvir
It was on a chilly afternoon in 1982 when we got off the bus together; coming home from RMC; we said hello to each other and asked to meet for tea that evening. We went for tea at a restaurant that few will remember call DO PIAZA. We talked for hours about music, life, poetry, weather and everything. From then on, we went trekking, riding in to mountain in dark cold nights or just spending hours together.
ReplyDeleteWe knew each other likes and tastes so much that often we just had to look at someone or something and that was all that was needed. We made other friends but none could penetrate that ether that was between us. I am so sorry if someone feels that he was closer to him or knew him better; those are your feelings and I respect them.
I spent the most beautiful decade of my life with him and had it not for him we would probably have missed something that we would never have known. With him died a part of my heart that shall not come back even though I may be living and walking.
Tanvir